By Bill Brohaugh

I don't understand how else to inform you this...everything you recognize approximately English is wrong.

"If you're keen on language and the unvarnished fact, you'll love every little thing you recognize approximately English is inaccurate. You'll rejoice simply because his energetic, comedic, skeptical voice will communicate to you from the pages of his word-bethumped book."
-Richard Lederer, writer of Anguished English, Get Thee to a Punnery, and note Wizard

Now that you simply be aware of, it's time to, good, chunk the mum tongue. William Brohaugh, former editor of Writer's Digest, may be your travel consultant in this pleasant trip during the English language, stating the entire misconceptions approximately our wonderful-and splendidly confusing-native tongue. Tackling phrases, letters, grammar and principles, no sacred cow continues to be untipped as Brohaugh unearths such attention-grabbing and irreverent shockers as:

- for those who figuratively climb the partitions, you're agitated/frustrated/crazy. if you happen to actually climb the partitions, you're Spiderman.

- "Biting the mummy Tongue": English doesn't come from England.

- The be aware "queue" is the poster baby of an English spelling rule so dominant we'll name it a dominatrix rule: "U needs to stick with Q! Slave!"

- lots of our vocabulary comes from the classical languages-clearly, Greece, and never Grease, is the note, is the note, is the word.

-Emoticons: disagreeable punctuational predictions

"Better plotted than a word list, extra riveting than a glossary, extra filmable than a Harry Potter index-and that's simply Brohaugh's footsnorts... Imean, feetsnotes...umfeetsneets?...good gravy I'mglad I'mjust a cartoonist."
-John Caldwell, considered one of Mad magazine's traditional Gang of Idiots

This e-book promises you'll by no means examine the English language an analogous manner again-if you write, learn or communicate it, it simply ain't attainable to reside with out this tell-all consultant. ("Ain't," by the way, isn't a foul word.)

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Example text

Well, maybe you—you individually, the person holding this copy of this book at this moment—took exception, but did you hear anyone else speak up about it when you were reading it? I rest my case. Now, if someone were to track me down in the hallway and insist that verbs must agree with their subjects, I would reply, “You’re right,” and not just because I fear that someone who would track me down to make such a point might want to elevate the argument to fisticuffs. ” The singular you “are” right?

What Donne may not have realized, and what few of us realize, is that in its etymological roots, the word island is self-redundant, and in these etymological roots, a man could be both an island and a piece of the continent. Island was originally a compound word in Old English, spelled igland. ” Island-land? ” (For more on this, including how that rascal S found its way into the word, see the entry for “Isle/Island” on page 131). And that’s how someone could indeed be an island and a piece of the continent.

Walkin’ the walk ain’t necessarily talkin’ the talk. ” A good rule, albeit naive, and sometimes a moot point, said Mr. Caesar the financier. ” Not to mention mention, or to pick out some diphthongs to make the point. WHO, WHOM, WHOOMER, WHOOMEST The “he or him” test to determine whether to use “who” or “whom” is not adequate advice. Knock knock. Whom’s there? Meme. Meme whom? Meme, Iself and I. 15 My apologies for making you jump around the text like that—oh, which reminds me, I shouldn’t have written this footnote.

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Everything You Know About English Is Wrong by Bill Brohaugh

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