By Alan Goldsher
"It’s 2009, and Zombie John, Zombie Paul, Zombie George, and Ninja Ringo are poised to teach the USA the real which means of Beatlemania. in the course of their first American journey given that 1966, they throw down with supergenius supervillian Justin Timberlake, get abused by way of scantily-clad chanteuse Madonna, perform a little dreadful issues to wannabe Zombies Noel and Liam Gallagher, probably behead Eminem, and tackle girl Gaga’s “Little Monsters”, all within the identify of mountaineering to the Toppermost of the Poppermost.
In the hilarious, gory sequel to the severely acclaimed mashup, Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion, writer Alan Goldsher is the line supervisor and appointed scribe for the Poppermost Over the US travel, insanely crisscrossing the US in a foul-smelling van choked with 3 short-tempered, power-mad English Zombies and one annoyed Ninja drummer. through the mayhem of the brains-fueled travel, Goldsher reveals out what it fairly potential to fulfill the Beatles, and solutions the oft-asked query at the lips of each Fab 4 fan, “What does Liverpudlian Zombie breath scent like from inches away?”"
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Extra info for Give Death a Chance: The British Zombie Invasion 2
No Snacking All eating must be monitored, regulated, and contained to the mess. Mess doors should remain closed while eating is in progress. 2. No Crumbs A ship-wide pill diet should be adopted. Once the pills are gone, draw straws. The drawer of the shortest straw is to be eaten…after you make your way through the rest of the food rations. 2 3. No Carbonated Beverages Without gravity’s aid, the human stomach can’t separate liquid from gas in the stomach. The result is a form of bile-surgy wet burp that would make even the grossest baby embarrassed on your behalf.
The crew may even see that you’re better equipped to be their leader and stage a mutiny—which has the added benefit of propelling you instantly to Space captain status. From there, you only need a few quick heroic deeds and death-defying situations to make Space Hero. No credits? Consider indentured servitude. indd 22 11/12/14 5:11 PM Your Tr agic Origin Story 23 any ballads? How is your mop grip? Dig deep. Willingness to endure emotional scarring is its own form of currency. B u y in g P a s s ag e P r o s : ◉◉ ◉◉ ◉◉ ◉◉ ◉◉ Travel in relative luxury Rightful access to ship’s food and water No fear of unexpected Space walks Potential to make lifelong Space adventure friends Complimentary toilet access B u y in g P a s s ag e K h a n s : ◉◉ Buying is rarely as satisfying as stealing from no-goodniks and Space hippies ◉◉ Appearing on official manifests makes you a bigger target when ships are boarded by authorities, slavers, and Space pirates ◉◉ Spending all of your life savings or ill-gotten gambling gains means you’ll have little left for room, board, or non- gag- inducing nourishment when you arrive at your destination 5.
Congratulations: you’re stuck on that planet forever. Or would have been, if not for the Oberth effect. The Oberth effect describes the phenomenon of a rocket engine (and the rocket fuel therein) generating more useful energy at higher speeds than at lower ones. Put another way, as the speed of your ship increases and the effect of gravity decreases (you are gradually leaving its influence the farther you travel away from the planet’s surface), less fuel becomes capable of greater work. You won’t be stuck on Narn forever after all!
Give Death a Chance: The British Zombie Invasion 2 by Alan Goldsher