By Nick Kolakowski

ISBN-10: 1440535302

ISBN-13: 9781440535307

A Capacious and critical Guide

Maxims:
#1: hold a Scholarly booklet (at All instances)
#12: comprehend Your Manet out of your Monet
#14: Be informed in no less than One Classical tool
#64: discover ways to Recite Romantic-Era Poetry on Cue

If you think that you wish a PhD in Greek and Roman philosophy from an Ivy League institution to name your self an highbrow, re-evaluate your supposition. if you may perhaps envy the initials that keep on with unique names of professors and the highbrow elite, it's now not the mortar board and scholarly gowns you need—it's the vague esoterica. during this primer, you'll discover ways to stroll the controversy of the intelligentsia, leaving simpletons and pseudo-intellectuals on your dust.

Inside How to turn into an Intellectual, you'll find the prodigious truths each self-respecting discovered individual lives by means of. This code of scholarly habit permits aspiring high-brows like your self to teach their unlucky lessers, amaze their Mensa neighbors, and galvanize their fellow clever people—one extraordinary bon mot at a time!

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Extra resources for How to Become an Intellectual: 100 Mandatory Maxims to Metamorphose into the Most Learned of Thinkers

Example text

A cuckoo calls—and to their dens The People climb like frightened hens, And I‘m alone—and no one cares In Darkest Africa—down stairs. 33 The Kitten's Garden of Verses The Dog The Dog is black or white or brown And sometimes spotted like a clown. He loves to make a foolish noise And Human Company enjoys. The Human People pat his head And teach him to pretend he‘s dead, And beg, and fetch and carry too; Things that no well-bred Cat will do. 34 The Kitten's Garden of Verses At Human jokes, however stale, He jumps about and wags his tail, And Human People clap their hands And think he really understands.

Now I climb down—“Oh dear,“—I mew, “Which end goes first—what shall I do? “ 20 The Kitten's Garden of Verses The Whole Duty of Kittens When Human Folk at Table eat, A Kitten must not mew for meat, Or jump to grab it from the Dish, (Unless it happens to be fish). 21 The Kitten's Garden of Verses The Outing My Bed is like a little Bark, The hatch is battened down, And in the basket cabin dark I sail away from Town. Now, when they lift the lid, a scene Of wonder meets my eyes, Tall waving Feather-Dusters green, 22 The Kitten's Garden of Verses That seem to touch the skies.

34 The Kitten's Garden of Verses At Human jokes, however stale, He jumps about and wags his tail, And Human People clap their hands And think he really understands. They say “Good Dog“ to him. To us They say “Poor Puss,“ and make no fuss. Why Dogs are “good“ and Cats are “poor“ I fail to understand, I‘m sure. To Someone very Good and Just, Who has proved worthy of her trust, A Cat will sometimes condescend— The Dog is Everybody‘s friend. 35 The Kitten's Garden of Verses The Game Watching a ball on the end of a string, Watching it swing back and to, Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing Ever a Kitten can do.

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How to Become an Intellectual: 100 Mandatory Maxims to Metamorphose into the Most Learned of Thinkers by Nick Kolakowski


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