By Carlton Mellick III

ISBN-10: 1936383055

ISBN-13: 9781936383054

ARE you prepared TO PLAY a few DUNGEONS AND FUCKING DRAGONS? The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 is an absurd comedy a couple of staff of adventurers (elf, halfling, bard, dwarf, murderer, thief) facing an existential hindrance after having came upon that they're fairly simply pre-rolled characters residing inside a vintage AD&D position enjoying video game. whereas exploring the ruins of Tardis maintain, those 6 characters needs to care for their inept Dungeon Master's retarded mind's eye and face up to their sexy teenaged gamers' instructions to have intercourse with every thing in sight. that includes: punk rock elf chicks, dying steel orcs, porn-addicted beholders, a goblin/halfling love affair, a gnoll orgy, and a paranormal dildo that holds the secrets and techniques of the universe.

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Additional resources for The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an adventure for 3-6 players, levels 2-5)

Sample text

I attack and miss again. The Dwarf Lord lands his attack for another 8 points of damage. ” cries The Dwarf Lord. “I stab you like I stab pumpkins with a screwdriver! ” The bugbear slashes at The Dwarf Lord with his bastard sword, causing 4 points of damage. I attack the bugbear and drive my short sword +1 through his belly, doing 5+1 points of damage. Nearly dead, the bugbear staggers on his feet. Delvok sees this and decides to save his next arrow. ” The bugbear stabs Dwarfy while he continues his rant, taking off 7 points of damage.

He doesn’t really care what elves are supposed to be like in D&D. He just pretends they are magical Vulcans. He even decided to name his character after an actual Vulcan from the Star Trek universe. Delvok is a great Vulcan composer mentioned in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, whose music was appreciated by the Trill science officer Jadzia Dax. Buzz doesn’t just pretend he is a Vulcan when he plays Dungeons and Dragons. He pretends he is a Vulcan in his everyday life. At school, he walks down the hallway with his posture perfectly straight, his hair neatly parted, his eyebrows slicked up, his facial expression completely free of emotion.

The gnome did say he had family members who were imprisoned by the gnolls. ” I nod my head in agreement. ” Our party agrees and we head in the direction of the barn. 2: Barn We enter the damp, foul-smelling barn to discover The Dwarf Lord slaying a horse in one of the stables. The barn is filled with dead horses, some of which had been dispatched by our dwarf companion, others are dead from illness and malnourishment. The gnolls must not keep good care of their animals. Unless, that is, they were planning on using these horses for food instead of transport.

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The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an adventure for 3-6 players, levels 2-5) by Carlton Mellick III


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