By Paul Howard
So there i used to be, roysh, classification legend, faculties rugby legend, essentially all-round legend, while a person makes a decision you can't, like, take a seat the Leaving Cert 4 instances. good that positioned a focking spanner within the works.
But becoming a member of the goys in school wasn't the mare i assumed it might be, essentially for, like, 3 significant purposes: beer, ladies and extra ladies. And for as soon as I accept as true with Fionn in regards to the, like, schooling percentages. I suggest, the place else are you able to find out about pass judgement on Judy, laminating faux IDs and, like, tips on how to order a Ken and snog a woman on the related time?
I might be attractive, roysh, yet I'm no longer silly and this a lot I absolutely be aware of: university focking rocks.
Paul Howard is helping Ross O'Carroll-Kelly to put in writing his autobiographical sequence, now such as 4 titles, principally simply because Ross can't rather write, roysh? discover extra at http://www.obrien.ie/ross.
He is usually the writer of the bestselling legal disclose, the enjoyment, and co-author of Celtic Warrior, the autobiography of boxer Steve Collins.
A former activities Journalist of the 12 months, Paul lined the realm Cup in Japan and Korea in 2002, and the rugby global Cup in Australia in 2003, for the newspaper. His account of the Irish football squad, The Gaffers, Mick McCarthy, Roy Keane and the workforce they equipped, used to be a bestseller in autumn 2002.
The funniest e-book of the year.
I don't regard the musings of O'Carroll-Kelly as being primarily humourous. I regard them as instantly reportage, journalism of a really excessive order, which holds up a reflect to a life-style, a complete breed of men...
Declan Lynch, Sunday Independent
'Whether you like him or hate him, The Teenage Dirtbag Years may have you coming again for more.'
Erica Walsh, Trinity News
‘In The Teenage Dirtbag Years our dim rugger-bugger anti-hero explores third-level schooling. This lad makes Beavis and Butthead seem like Harvard graduates.’
Ferdia MacAnna, Sunday Independent
'Howard is the writer of a solid account of existence in Mountjoy and is the comedian voice for the following decade.'
Eoghan Corry, Andersonstown information
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Extra info for The Teenage Dirtbag Years
MICHAEL There’s gotta be a better way to say that. 45 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:04 PM Page 46 46 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:04 PM Page 47 LUCILLE What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English”? 47 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:04 PM Page 48 MICHAEL It’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face. 48 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:04 PM Page 49 49 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:04 PM Page 50 50 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:04 PM Page 51 MICHAEL She’s a little bit more like me. It’s like we ﬁnish each other’s— LINDSAY Sandwiches?
They’re gonna kill Grandpa. I gotta get out of here. I’m an innocent man. You gotta help Pop-pop get outta here. Give me your hair. GEORGE MICHAEL: My hair? : Give me your hair. Give Pop-pop your hair. 37 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 38 (Mis)Communication 38 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 39 TOBIAS Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. 39 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 40 40 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 41 MAEBY: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the “t” on it?
TOUC 31 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 32 MICHAEL: You’re either going to jail, or if the judge shows absolutely no mercy at all, you’ll be staying here with my mother. 32 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 33 33 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 34 34 Arrested_Int_Layout 1 8/26/13 2:03 PM Page 35 BUSTER You lied to me. You said my father was my father, but my uncle is my father. My father is my uncle! : They’re gonna kill Grandpa. I gotta get out of here. I’m an innocent man.
The Teenage Dirtbag Years by Paul Howard